I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
whose parrot is this?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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