Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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