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well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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