that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
handjob tips. give me some.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
