i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
