I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
