Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
