That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
