the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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