shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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