Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
