There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I love you. Go after that dick
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
