i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
