I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
