At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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