Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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