His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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