If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I pour the whiskey from now on
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
