He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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