how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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