i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
