just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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