Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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