you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
