you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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