hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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