we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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