I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
