i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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