she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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