she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
