you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
