Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
