I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
