Porn is love you can see.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
