Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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