Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
