Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
