How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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