Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
