Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
