Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
