Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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