Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
