and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
