You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
