Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
