What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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