Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
