the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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