I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
