I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
