I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
