I want to have your abortion
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
