Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
