I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
