me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
