I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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